rock'n'rollercoaster

as some may know, i have just returned from a week in las vegas for the culmination of a huge production that has been my focus at work for the past several months. in the process, i learned so many things about the world of event-production, and even more things about myself.

the tedious ins-and-outs of production are just that, but the human nature aspect of being "busy" is really quite startling to examine. it's the nature of my job that my work load will ebb and flow throughout the year. in fact, i often tell people that my little mantra is, "i work towards not having work." in other words, when i'm so busy that i can't think straight, my only goal is to have "nothing" to do. on the flip side, when i'm bored...i'm b-o-r-e-d.

in terms of this last show, i maintained an intense level of "busy" for several weeks that really threw me for a loop. the entire month of may is truly a blur. i think everyone has a secret distaste for workaholics and perhaps a fear of becoming one themselves. i wouldn't say that i'm anything close, but what is absolutely astounding (and really quite frightening) is how easy it is to adopt workaholic behavior without even realizing it.

the first thing to go are the news articles and the blogs. there's just no time. after that, it's easy: easy to shut off the aim. easy to ignore personal emails. easy not to eat. it's easy to have no idea what time it is, because it just doesn't matter. minutes tick in check lists and not on the clock.

it's easy to stay late; it's easier to go in early...and that's when you suddenly realize--work has officially encroached on your personal life. more time at work means less time for everything else (or less time for sleep...and that's just not an option!)

so, what is my point? the experience was jarring, outside of the norm, and not something i want to relive on a routine basis. on the other hand, there is much in the way of reward to be felt when the end product is a huge success, and in a twisted way, it all feels...worth it.