all by myself
i realized this week that time alone for me is both a rarity and a commodity. i don't live alone and i certainly don't work alone. any other activities i may do "alone," such as commuting to work, or running an errand, isn't really, because i'm still among a sampling of the other millions of people who share this island with me.
it may sound odd, but for really only the second or third time, i had my apartment to myself for an entire 36 hours this past week. during that unremarkable short period of time, as with any "experience," i managed to learn some things about myself.
i love the idea of being alone--truly alone--and having time to myself. i think it's very important to maintain a level of sanity and inner-peace. yet, i think i was surprised when i realized that i don't like the idea of living alone, even for a short time. the sense of absence is palpable. it's amazing how big a new york apartment can feel when its missing half of its occupants.
even the tiniest changes in my daily routine were startling. no one to download the stupidest little nuances of the day, no one to watch tv with, and most noticeably, no one to eat with. i've been cooking more lately than ever before, but the "fun" of it is more in the event of sharing it with others; there's not much fun in cooking alone. i'm a connoisseur of delivery, but it was very different ordering for one, even from just a block away. you feel like you're not ordering enough to validate the delivery. i feel sorry for all the people living alone in the 'burbs. how can you justify an entree for one from a restaurant that's miles away?
there is also a subconscious sense of comfort in sharing my living space with another. maybe it's just because it's really all that i've ever known, but at this point, i would go so far as to say i can't picture myself living alone in anything larger than what i have. the idea of being alone in a cavernous house is frankly a little...scary. i think i need to have a tangible sense of the space i'm inhabiting, and that's a big part of why i find urban life so appealing.
it may sound odd, but for really only the second or third time, i had my apartment to myself for an entire 36 hours this past week. during that unremarkable short period of time, as with any "experience," i managed to learn some things about myself.
i love the idea of being alone--truly alone--and having time to myself. i think it's very important to maintain a level of sanity and inner-peace. yet, i think i was surprised when i realized that i don't like the idea of living alone, even for a short time. the sense of absence is palpable. it's amazing how big a new york apartment can feel when its missing half of its occupants.
even the tiniest changes in my daily routine were startling. no one to download the stupidest little nuances of the day, no one to watch tv with, and most noticeably, no one to eat with. i've been cooking more lately than ever before, but the "fun" of it is more in the event of sharing it with others; there's not much fun in cooking alone. i'm a connoisseur of delivery, but it was very different ordering for one, even from just a block away. you feel like you're not ordering enough to validate the delivery. i feel sorry for all the people living alone in the 'burbs. how can you justify an entree for one from a restaurant that's miles away?
there is also a subconscious sense of comfort in sharing my living space with another. maybe it's just because it's really all that i've ever known, but at this point, i would go so far as to say i can't picture myself living alone in anything larger than what i have. the idea of being alone in a cavernous house is frankly a little...scary. i think i need to have a tangible sense of the space i'm inhabiting, and that's a big part of why i find urban life so appealing.
posted by mark at 12:05 PM
1 Comments:
you're right sometimes it is lonely especially when you want to eat somewhere and there is no one to go with. which is why they know me by name and car at outback. but other than that you get used to it. but you're right, i think i need a condo because a house might be a little too big to live in by myself, well maybe a townhouse.
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